alexa734:

submitted by Liz Kroll

5. “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.” 

4. “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.” 

3. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Whiteout. You probably got here just in time.” 

2. “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?” And the NUMBER ONE best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk… 

1. Raise your head slowly and say, “…in Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Fantastic!

mascarah:

One of my new clients is giving away one per day for the next 30 days. Enter to win, trust me…you’ll fall in love. Fun + amazing exercise.

I like free stuff. If you do too, take 27 seconds to enter for a Wii Fit!

allthingsalishan:

This is my dream kitchen

vneckandacardigan:jamesnord

Move the stove to the center island and put in a vent dropping down from the ceiling, and this would be perfection. Cooking whilst staring at a wall is just crap. Have it facing out to the breakfast bar, so that you can interact with fellow human beings and sip on your wine like a normal person instead of an alcoholic wino hiding in the corner :)

- Being in the US and A, even though my current status is temporary and I am going to have to go back to school in order to stay here. It’s an opportunity that many people take for granted. I value it every.single.day.

- Lovely family. We are all spread out, with some in South Africa, some in Belgium, some in San Diego, but despite oceans and hemispheres, I love them to death.

- My wonderful boyfriend who looks after me, spoils me, makes me feel beautiful, and loves me even though I can be difficult.

- The best friends I could ask for. Sadly, none of them live in Texas (boo!) but rather in Virginia, Missouri and New Jersey, so I don’t get to see them very often but when I do it’s like we live right next to each other.

- Friends like the Peters family who are taking in My Boy and I for Thanksgiving, since we’re strays! There’s a shuttle mission going on, so My Boy has to work and we can’t go out to Virginia for his family’s Thanksgiving reunion. So Jeff asked at work yesterday whether we’d like to come over and spend it with them instead :)

- A great job, albeit only 30hrs a week. It’s rewarding, frustrating, tough to handle at times, but overall I love it! I get to work with some really good people, and I rarely feel the “Uggggh I don’t want to go to worrrrrrrk” vibe.

- Tumblr! It’s been great so far :) Thanks to Miss Laney for getting me hooked!

- Adorable pets! Colt the Aussie Shepherd, Kodi the crazy barn cat, and Wensleydale the Galveston Kitty! Especially Colt though, he’s my fave.

hesnotinterested:

did you know the average person consumes 4500 calories on thanksgiving? i think this guy consumes that + more every single day of his life.

sorry tumblrs, i’ve refrained from posting degrading pictures of fat people lately but i think the holiday season calls for this.

Motivation to not eat my weight in Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow…

alexa734:

Freddie Mercury died 18 years ago, today. Let’s all remember how amazingly talented he was.

Queen’s Somebody To Love

True Story: At the wee age of 7, I decided that my new Rottweiler puppy was going to be named Queen.

True Story: There are multiple home videos of me circa 1988-1992  (aged 3 - 7) on the ski slopes of Switzerland/France/Austria/Italy, singing Queen tunes very loudly as I swiftly made my way downhill without any hint of a “slalom”.

True Story: We were in the Geneva train station when they announced over the PA system that Freddie Mercury had passed away (he died in Switzerland) and this huge, bustling place came to a complete standstill, and went completely silent. It was amazing, sad, but amazing…

veronicalovesarchie:

OK so this is a bit embarro, but I somehow ended up getting on an email newsletter for Barkins. I really don’t know much about them except that I think they used to do mainly really bad business women’s clothes made out of highly flammable fabrics. But you know what? They kinda came good, and they are CHEAP. I’m seriously considering this bag as a summer casual option. It’s only $39.95!!! Oh and of course, it’s striped, but you can get a few other options: charcoal, a black and white palm print (which is nicer than it sounds).

Go check it out Aussie readers!

Oh and if you DO buy it, just snip out the tags and tell everyone it’s Marni!

I WANT THIS BAG. SIIIIIIGH.

QUEEN - Bohemian Rhapsody

Performed by: The Muppets

allthingsalishan:

aaaand we’ve now got the housewarming gift for our dear friend Matt. I love nerdy shit like this and damnit, he will too.

(viajesssica: Amazon)

One of my neighbours has this MAT. My best friend loves it, and was wondering where she could get one. Now I know :) Wohoooo Christmas present for Chelsea is SORTED!

tlmonahan:

Maddie: I’m happy I have a ridiculously cute dress on, but what the heck is this about? I was promised a trip to the city and ice cream. Who’s this kid?

Sam: Hey. Hey girl. Do you live with these people? Are they nice? The lady seems nice — I’ve spent lots of time with her and the guy seems kind of nice, too. What’s the deal?

Maddie: How long do I have to hold him before I can start squirming and crying?

Sam: Hey. I need answers. One minute I was warm and cozy, then I was out here and it’s bright and I don’t know anything. Will you tell me what the rules are?

Maddie: If I have to. Sigh……

Of course, the voices in this exchange belonged to Bruce Willis and Roseanne.